Tag: gender

My four-year-old daughter was standing in her room yesterday morning, wearing only a pair of pants, squeezing her chest, and saying, “I wish these were bigger.” My first response was panic. My second response was to pass the buck, “Go talk to your mom about that,” I said. She ignored me and said again,” I … Continue ReadingI wish these were bigger

Yesterday, my daughter said: “Daddy, let’s make a rocket ship!” She had her eye on a cardboard box that used to hold puzzles. I said, “Let’s go!” Ok, well, first I said, “I have to finish re-arranging my bedroom so I have a place to sleep tonight,” then I did just that, then I said … Continue ReadingMonday Morning Masculinity – Imagination

I am currently writing a talk about work/life integration in an age of changing gender norms in the family. In other words, my wife and I both work, we both spend as much time as possible with the kids, but because my schedule is more flexible and my wife travels, I do a lot of … Continue ReadingThere never was a traditional male breadwinner

When my son was born, I processed the words “Down syndrome” in part by starting to write. First it was Livejournal, then Facebook, then a few op-eds, and now my current combination of Facebook, Twitter, published Op-Eds, and periodic re-posts to other sites. I decided to make “Lollardfish,” a name I used on early online … Continue ReadingMonday Morning Masculinity: Wiping Bottoms

My first widely-read essay was last May, for CNN, on my daughter’s “best-dressed” award. I argued: Our culture constantly projects the message that only appearances matter, and this message is aimed squarely at our children. We can fight this only by working against the grain, resisting gendered language and emphasizing the internal over the external. … Continue ReadingBoys in Crisis? Try empathy.

I know you all stayed up late last night following Miss America, watching the extended commentary on C-SPAN, and have already purchased the DVD, so this little blog entry may come as no surprise – but an Indian-American won the contest and lots of racists on Twitter said racist things. Actually, Miss America is no … Continue ReadingHere she is, your Miss America

As a father of a girl, I’m highly alert to the ways that toys are marketed to children. It’s not that boys don’t have gender-specific marketing and that I’m not concerned about issues related to boys: I am concerned and they do. But two factors come into play: One, my son has Down syndrome, and … Continue ReadingPirate Princesses (Gender Equity in Toyland, but not in Eggland)

I’m trying out an argument here and looking for feedback. The feminist position on parenting is as follows: Men and women should have equal choices when it comes to work and caregiving. Historically, feminists have advocated for employment policies that support women who choose to have a family and want to work. These include: paid … Continue ReadingParental Leave – A Feminist Issue

Yesterday I had an argument with a man who felt that feminists were disrespecting him as a father. I gained a few insights from it that I thought I would share with you. 1. If you find yourself compelled to write a sentence that starts, “The problem with feminists is …” – Consider writing a … Continue ReadingMonday Morning Masculinity

Matt Walsh wrote a blog post called, “Dear Son, don’t let Robin Thicke be a lesson to you.” Great. I don’t like Robin Thicke and I have never even heard one of his songs, but I’m judgmental, and I’m sure I don’t like him. I did watch that MTV video with the sound off, as … Continue ReadingDear Matt Walsh – what if your son is gay?